What I've Done
by AngelWithASeraphBlade
Summary: It's all my fault. All of it. It's my fault that my family has had to move across the country in an attempt to move on. It's my fault that my dad is staying behind. It's because of me that the lives of my family are ruined, and that my own future is condemned. Disclaimer: I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

_**Heya,**_

_**I'm trying this, please let me know if it's a good idea. **_

_**Thanks to my amazing beta The High Warlock Of Dublin.**_

**_Also_**_**, if you find the letters are boring, just go straight to the main stor (not in italics), the letters are just there to provide a bit of a background.**_

_**Thanks for reading,**_

_**Lu xxx**_

* * *

_Magnus,_

_I always knew that the way I lived would get me in trouble one day. I always knew that I would end up doing something I would come to regret because I appeared to not care less. I just never knew that it would end up this serious, or having this much of an impact on all of my family. I just wanted to be noticed for once. I became the bad girl, but I was still invisible. It was all about Jace and Alec; my parents' adoration of Jace and their issues with the way Alec was. They ignored me. I was nothing to them. Well, that's changed._

_Now I am the daughter who failed to save their son, tore our family apart and in one night made such a mess of things that we have been forced to move halfway across the country – well, what's left of us._

_It probably would have been better to be invisible._

_It definitely would have been better to be invisible._

_But I can't go back now._

_I am sorry, Magnus._

_I am sorry for taking Alec away. I'm sorry for doing this to you two. I know there are no excuses, no reasons, but I have tried to explain. I am sorry, I am so sorry._

_I have ruined, broken the relationship that changed Alec's life in many ways, the one that made him happy; scorned by our family, but happy. That lifted the awful weight off of his shoulders, made him my brother again. What's worse, they had nearly accepted you two together. I've ruined that. And I will feel the guilt for the rest of my life._

_I am so sorry, Magnus. I just hope you and Alec will be together again someday._

_Isabelle Sophia Lightwood_

* * *

_Meliorn,_

_Hey. I know you never really wanted me, you were just using me, and I know that you knew that I was really just using you as well. We both wanted similar outcomes – you wanted to make Seelie jealous, and I wanted my parents to give a shit. So we both wanted a bit more recognition. Well, I guess we both got it, even if not how we expected, or would have liked. So, yeah, I'm leaving now. I probably won't see you again. I don't know why you would care, but, still, I thought you should know. I know it has only been a few months, but I still thought you should know that I am gone, and am never coming back. I have damaged my family enough._

_Bye, I guess._

_Isabelle_

* * *

_Aline,_

_Thanks for being there for me, even when I seemed like the biggest bitch the world had ever seen towards the end. I'm sorry that I have to go, but you know I have to, don't you? I'll try to write to you all the time, I promise. And I may have set you up with Helen as well. I have seen the way you look at her, dear. And I have also seen the way she looks at you. And the way she beamed when I told her you liked her and asked if she wanted to be set up with you. She did. Next Saturday at the Hunter's Moon, 3 on the dot. Don't be late!_

_I should have listened to you, Aline. You told me I was going to end up in some serious trouble, but I thought I was untouchable, invincible, and I just carried on. And look where it got me, huh? You were right. But I guess I knew that, and just chose to ignore the fact and bury it away. You tried to stop me didn't you? You told me I shouldn't go out and party, shouldn't get with a new boy every week, that it wouldn't get me any positive attention, only negative if any. Basically, you had brains and I had no intention of listening because I didn't want to need advice, to need help. Now I realise that help is exactly what I need, but I can't get it, because I have fucked up royally._

_I promise I will write, again. You're still a great friend, Aline. I've lost a lot; I don't want to lose you as well._

_Goodbye, but hopefully not forever,_

_Izzy_

* * *

_Dearest Max, how are you?_

_I know you'll never read this, but I'll feel better after writing it. I am so sorry Max. I was such a selfish bitch, and now I have to and deserve to live with the consequences. I should have never left you to go to Meliorn's. I should never have left the oven on assuming that you could cook your own dinner. I should have come back earlier; I should never have gone at all. Maybe then I could have put the fire out. Gotten you out of the house. Called the fire services and ambulance those five minutes earlier that would have saved you. I only thought about myself that night, I was harsh to you. I was so rude, and then I left you as if you meant nothing to me._

_But listen to me please Max, you mean everything to me and I will never forget you._

_I am going to put this next to you when it is time to go, so a bit of me goes with you. I'm going to put your manga in as well; I know how you loved it. I want to be there with you forever because I wasn't with you that night. I am so sorry Max. I am going to cry when I see you, I can guarantee you that. And I won't care about my makeup, won't care if it runs down my face because all that will matter in that moment will be you, and only you. You'll be going in two weeks, once they have done all of the tests – even though they know what happened. You'll have been gone for a month by then. I don't want to lose you entirely, Max, I really don't. I am so, so sorry that this happened, and I would do anything, give anything to go back in time and sort that night out, and make it different. But I can't._

_I never will be able to. Never._

_Max I love you. I love you so much, and I will never stop. Just know that._

_I'll keep going, live a better life because I need to make the most of it because you never had the chance. It's as much as I can do. And I will never stop remembering. I will never forget you._

_I am so sorry Max. I am so sorry._

_Your big sis, Iz_

* * *

Isabelle Lightwood sighed and leaned her head against the window in the back of the people carrier. She didn't need to be in the back – the front seat was free – but she didn't feel welcome with her mother anymore, so she wasn't going to go sitting next to her, and she didn't feel like sitting in between her two brothers either. She had hurt them badly, and sitting next to them would just be a reminder of all the pain that she had caused. She didn't feel like rubbing salt into the wound. Especially not when it was a horrific, open stab to the heart.

The window was cool, refreshing on her heated skin. The sun had been beating down on the car all day, making it like a greenhouse, and although there appeared to be a breeze outside which would have made the car less uncomfortable, her mother had completely ignored her when she had asked if she could roll the windows down. Jace had not even acknowledged her voice, staying in a furious sulk behind the passenger seat, whilst Alec had turned around in front of her and smiled sadly at her. Alec was probably the only person in her family who hadn't shunned her after what she had done. Even when he didn't know what Meliorn had done, he still hadn't shunned her.

After Max had died in that awful fire, everyone had shut Izzy out. It had been the beginning of summer break, and Izzy had wanted to go celebrate with Meliorn, but Alec had been out with Magnus and Jace had some sort of presentation thing for his fencing so Izzy's parents had told her to stay at home with Max. She'd stayed for an hour or so, but then Meliorn had started calling her, shouting at her to come over, and then her had turned up on the doorstep and practically dragged her away from Max and to his house. When she had returned home later, the house had been on fire. She had called the emergency services, but it had been too late. Max had been overcome by the fumes, and was declared dead at the scene. Her parents had arrived home to her breaking down on the lawn as the ambulance took Max away. They had rushed off in the car, but not before screaming abuse at her. They didn't know that she had been crying before she had gotten home as well. No one knew that. Well of course that bastard had seen, but other than him, no one had known.

She sighed again and curled up into a ball leaning on the side of the car. This wasn't meant to have happened. None of it. Who knew that all of this could happen because she wasn't strong enough? That her dad had left because she had made one too many mistakes and landed herself in this mess? That they would be forced to move because her mother wasn't able to cope with living in the place that Max had died and Robert just gone? No one had known that there was even a possibility that she would go out and leave Max on his own in the house, because no one had known that she had someone to go see – or get dragged off to see – because no one had paid her any attention. She had always been overshadowed by her brothers, whether they were seen as brilliant or as a disgrace. They were always more important, with Jace and his perfection, Max and his cuteness and the charm of being the youngest, and Alec with the way they shunned him because he was gay, and apparently this made him a disgrace. Isabelle thought that it was a disgrace that they shunned their own son because he was different to them.

Green flooded past the window, rolling hills and fields whizzing past as she stared. The grass on the side of the road was waving gently in the breeze, each individual blade shimmering in the evening light. It was beautiful, and Izzy wished she could freeze the moment and forget everything. But that couldn't happen. The world kept moving, and she would have to move with it. The colours grew darker as the sun began to set, draining the light from the sky, and soon the only illumination was the headlights on the road. Hopefully they were going to stop soon; Izzy wasn't sure how much longer she could last in the car – she wasn't feeling particularly good. She hadn't all day.

Finally they pulled into a motel with bright neon lights and red brick walls.

Her mother pulled herself out of the car and grabbed her bag, before standing and waiting outside. Jace and Alec followed with their own stuff, Jace stalking immediately towards Maryse. Alec paused and pushed his seat down so that Izzy could get out. She muttered her thanks to him and gave him a weak smile. As soon as she had shut the door behind her, her mother started to walk off towards the motel, locking the door over her shoulder. Izzy slouched back against the car for a second, watching as her brothers walked after her mother. Alec looked at her over his shoulder, and she sighed, getting up and following into the motel.

Izzy walked into the lobby. There was a sunken couch in the corner, covered in a faded bohemian rug and red tasselled cushions, and strange exotic looking plant drooping and dying by the desk. The carpet matched the rug on the probably broken couch, threadbare and faded. The walls were painted with swirls of pale red paint on a whitewash, with a few wine coloured tapestries dotted everywhere and anywhere with no logic. The desk itself was an unpolished wood with an intricate design carved into the front. Isabelle was too busy observing the place to notice Maryse talking to an elderly looking woman in a poncho behind the counter. Before she knew it she was getting a plastic bag and a key shoved in her hands and the warning to be downstairs by eight o'clock in the morning ready to go.

The key was a flimsy little thing with a large piece of wood attached. She turned it over in her hands. There was a number burnt into it - 30. Third floor. She saw her brothers and mother make their way towards a door to the left of the metal spiral staircase, which read ground floor. Of course. Of course her mother wanted her to be as far away as possible. She would disown her if she didn't feel like she had to present a happy family to society. Well, the family she had now wasn't the perfect one she had had then, so Izzy guessed there was nothing stopping her from kicking her out once they got to the new apartment, or just leaving her in this motel the next morning. She could only hope she wouldn't. After all, a family that shuns you is better than no family at all, right?

She slouched towards the stairs and up them, her boots quiet on the intricate metal. No heels. Uggs. She wasn't going to wear heels anymore. She wasn't going to live her life like she used to anymore. So for starters, less of the slutty clothing. Her steps fell silent, soundless as if there was no one climbing up at all, as if she didn't exist. As she got to the final set of stairs, she trailed her hand carelessly along the banister. It was covered in dust. She stopped and rubbed a little bit between her fingers, looking up. It looked dark, smelt musty and forgotten up here. The motel was quite secluded, so it made sense. They wouldn't put people up here out of need of room. Only people who asked. Couples who wanted privacy… or mothers who hated their daughter.

The key was stiff in the lock, but eventually the door creaked open. The room itself was pretty much identical to the lobby, with dying – well, dead – plants scattered everywhere and a very bohemian feel clinging to everything. The whole room was just a faded red colour, all over. At least there didn't seem to be as much dust in there, although it did make Izzy cough as she walked in, dropping her shoulder bag off of her shoulder by one of the two beds and sitting down it, the plastic carrier still dangling limply from her fingertips. Through the gloom – she hadn't flicked the lights on – she could make out a sandwich and some other things. So basically, her mother had shoved her up here with a bit of food and just left her until the morning. Great. She let the bag slip through her fingers, landing next to her other bag and spilling its contents onto the floor, and dropped her head into her now free hands. After a few minutes she curled her knees up to her and wrapped her arms around them, resting her eyes on them like she used to when she was five and scared of thunderstorms.

She stayed like that for a while, silently crying as her thin button down became soaked with tears.

It must have been at least an hour that she was sitting there before there was a light knock on the door. She didn't even look up. There was a knock again, louder and more insistent this time. Izzy looked towards it, her vision blurred by the tears and her eyes stinging. She wiped them on the back of her sleeve, before tucking her hands into them and wrapping her arms around herself.

"Who is it?" She sniffed, putting her feet on the cold tiled floor.

"It's me." Alec's voice rang through the frozen silence. "Iz, can I come in?"

"Sure." she said, wiping her eyes on the cuffs of her shirt one more time, "It's open."

The door slowly and quietly creaked open, and Alec popped his head around the door before sidling through it and knocking it gently back into the frame. He looked at her for one second before making his way to her side, leaning on the bed and lowering himself down next to her. He put his hand on her back, rubbing circles with his thumb. She stared blankly ahead at the peeling red paint on the walls as he looked at her, brotherly concern written painfully across his face. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of her inky black hair away from her face and behind her ear.

"Iz…"

She didn't respond to him. He was just going to ask pointless questions, like everyone always did in these situations. Are you okay? What's wrong? Can I help?

"Iz, what actually happened that night?"

What? That was not what she had been expecting. Not at all.

"Because I know you. I cannot imagine for one second you would leave Max for Meliorn, despite the impression that you give to the world. I know that you loved him too much to do that. So what happened, Iz?"

Izzy sucked in a breath, and raised her head to look into Alec's eyes. They weren't judging, or harsh, or angry. They were just full of concern and love and… that expression that only Alec could ever give. The expression that said that the person he was looking at was one of the most important people in the world to him. The expression that she loved, and made her able to trust him. She didn't know why, but it made her able to trust him.

"You promise you won't judge me?"

Alec shook his head, his eyes serious.

"I would never judge you. You know that."

Izzy gulped and continued to look him straight in the eye, so that he knew she wasn't lying.

"Well… well at first it was fine. I was watching cartoons with Max, and then Meliorn started texting. And, I started chatting with him, ignoring Max a bit. I mean, he didn't seem to mind, but I shouldn't have ignored him. Then he started calling, at first asking then screaming at me to get over to his, he had something special in mind. I told him I couldn't, that I didn't want to,"

She sniffed away tears.

"But he didn't listen. He wouldn't. And then he turned up on the doorstep, banging down the door. I had to answer – Max was getting scared. He grabbed my wrist and started to drag me off. I shouted over my shoulder to Max that there were chips in the oven, and something else, but I can't remember what. I didn't even say goodbye."

She had now started to cry, tears running slowly down her cheeks.

"He dragged me off. He took me to his house. His parents were out. At first he just sat me on the couch, and we started to make out. I didn't particularly want to, but I went with it – I mean, we used to do it all of the time. But then… then he said we should go upstairs. I told him I didn't want to, but he didn't care, he just pulled me by the wrist again. I kept telling him no, but he didn't listen. He pushed me onto the bed, and then… and then…"

Alec pulled her sideways into him, wrapping his left arm around her and stroking her hair gently with his other hand. She buried her face into his chest, clinging onto him as if he was the last thing left in the world for her to hold onto, tucking her legs up underneath her and letting her boots slip off of her feet. Alec pulled her closer, whispering into her hair soothing nonsense as she cried, the way she had wanted someone comfort her since that awful, awful night. At first she was cried desperately into him, sobs racking her body and her hands fisted tightly in his shirt… and then, when she had cried herself out completely, she found herself sobbing gently into him, completely drained both emotionally and physically, and lying limply in Alec's arms. She felt him straighten up a little, and loosen his grip on her ever so slightly.

"Iz… Izzy, why didn't tell me? I could have helped."

He said it gently, curiously, not harshly or questioning.

"I… I was scared that you'd be ashamed of me. That… that you would think that…"

"Iz, I would never think of you like that. Never. Don't ever believe that, okay?"

"Okay." She whispered. "Thanks, Alec."

"Thanks for what?"

"For not thinking the worst of me, even before you knew… that. For still being my brother."

"Izzy, I would never stop being your brother, I could never stop loving you, no matter what you do. Blood may not mean much to the rest of our family, but it is one of the most important things to me, and I won't let anything break those ties."

"Blood is really important to me too Alec. I'm… I'm really sorry about taking you away from Magnus…"

"Don't worry about that, Iz. We can still call and email and that, and as soon as I'm out of school, I can go back." He saw the look on Isabelle's face. "As soon as we are both out of school. I'm not going to leave you on your own Iz, don't worry. I would never do that."

"Thanks Alec."

"No problem." He said, ruffling her hair. "Hey, do you want me to sleep up here tonight so you don't have to be on your own?"

Isabelle looked into his eyes, questioning.

"But won't Maryse go mad if you do?"

Alec laughed a little. It wasn't cold, it was just… wait, was Alec's laugh carefree?

"I don't care what Mom thinks, Iz."

She nodded.

"Stay. Please."

"I would never go away, Izzy. Mom is stupid. She is so caught up in losing one child – which was not your fault – that she is close to losing another. She still has you, Iz, and she is foolish to drive you away when you are so amazing."

Izzy smiled weakly at him.

"Thanks. But don't you have to get your stuff?"

Alec smiled back and held up his rucksack, which he had put on the bed beside him. She probably hadn't noticed it before because she had been crying.

"One step ahead of you."

He stood up, throwing the bag onto the other bed and rummaging around inside it. Izzy watched as he grabbed something and huddled it to his chest.

"I'm just gonna get changed okay? I'll be back in a sec."

Izzy nodded, and as he closed bathroom door before him she slipped on her own blue check pyjamas and slid under the musty sheets. They were strange, and very bright, but they were warm and comfortable. She had exhausted herself, and as soon as her head hit the pillow she fell into a deep sleep, for once without nightmares of that night and everyone leaving her on her own. She was right under by the time Alec emerged from the bathroom. He smiled slightly to himself, reaching over and brushing that pesky strand of hair off of her face again. She jerked her head slightly, but her eyes remained still beneath their lids. She was sleeping soundly. He smiled slightly again before climbing into his own bed and dreaming sweet dreams of someone with sparkling green and golden eyes.

* * *

**_Please review/follow/anything so that I know if this is worth continuing with. xx_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hello again!**_

_**Please review :p**_

* * *

Isabelle woke to a tickling sensation on her cheeks. At first she didn't respond – the bed she was lying in, however unfamiliar, was warm and comfortable, and she had that strange fatigue you get when you have been really tired and then you have a really long sleep. It was quite pleasant, however the tickling – it was _definitely _someone tickling her, she realised, as she grew more and more awake and aware of her surroundings – was very persistent. She tried to hold onto the cloudy thoughts of sleep but eventually they drifted away from her until she was very much awake. She sighed and opened her eyes groggily, blinking slightly at the bright morning light and staring into a pair of bright blue eyes that she had been desperate to inherit.

"Morning, Iz."

Isabelle groaned as her brother drew away and lethargically wiped the sleep from her eyes. She hoisted herself into a sitting position against the carved – seriously did every piece of wood in this place have a design etched into it? – head board and looked at him, her vision still ever so slightly blurry.

"Christ Alec, what time is it?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Seven." She was just about to protest at the early hour, but he cut her off. "I thought you might want to have time to eat and have a shower and not have to rush about. You look like you could do with taking it a bit slow."

She smiled at him.

"Thanks. But won't you need time to have a shower as well? Or are you gonna have one in Jace's room?"

"I've already had one. Look, wet hair."

He grabbed a strand of inky black and held it up. She blushed – something she only ever did in front of Alec.

"Oh… guess I must still be half asleep not to have noticed."

Alec just laughed. She loved it when he laughed. Normally he just looked so serious, and so concerned, and actually sad, that it was nice just to see a good emotion rise out of it and surface for a while.

"Go on; go have a shower, that'll wake you up."

"Maybe."

Isabelle pulled her wash bag from her travel bag with a bit of difficulty, eventually managing to yank the blue spotted thing out - though nearly falling backwards in the process - and made her way towards the bathroom, her bare feet stinging slightly at the coolness of the pale cream tiles on the bedroom floor, and even more so at the freezing white ones in the bathroom. She lazily pulled the (again carved, seriously?) door shut behind her, not bothering to lock it - the only person likely to intrude was Alec, who knew she was in there - and began to test the temperature of the shower.

* * *

Around half an hour later Izzy emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of smoke, wearing a pair of khaki gathered capri pants and a white vest top with a pigasus flying across it, her dark black hair falling loosely around her face, which was entirely clear of makeup. She clutched her wash bag and pyjamas to her chest, quickly putting all of her things away in her travel bag as she rounded the end of the bed. She hopped onto her bed and crossed her legs, wrapping her arms around them and drawing them closer to her body and looking up and saw that Alec was looking over the top of his book and regarding her with amusement. She raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Alec just stared. "_What_!?"

Alec snapped himself out of a reverie and looked directly at her.

"Nothing, it's just… you look different. Like, really different. Since when did you wear _capri pants_?"

"I just wanted a change. A complete one. I don't want to be the girl that got us in this mess."

She hung her head slightly, drawing her legs up closer. Alec must have seen this as a sign to change the subject.

"Fair enough." He said lightly and with no pressure on her, before turning away.

Izzy nodded.

"Have you checked what's in the bag yet then?"

"No, I was going to wait until you were out of the shower."

Izzy pushed the loose articles that had fallen out of the carrier bag the previous night temporarily back in, hoisting it up before shaking out the contents on her bed. Out fell a couple of sandwiches, four packets of chips and a pack of Oreos. She inspected the sandwiches before holding them up to Alec, who had now started reading his book again.

"Salmon and cucumber or BLT?"

"What?"

"Which sandwich?"

"I honestly don't care Iz, you pick."

Izzy chucked the BLT and a couple of the chip packets onto his bed before starting to eat herself. She devoured it all in fewer than ten minutes – she had been surprisingly hungry. Maybe it had just been because she hadn't eaten the previous night. She was just chewing thoughtfully on an Oreo when Alec swore loudly next to her. She snapped her head around and saw him shoving all of his stuff in his bag.

"What's up?"

"Its five to eight – we have five minutes, we need to get going or Mom is going to kill us."

"Shit."

Izzy shoved the Oreo packet quickly into her bag before swinging it over her shoulder and following Alec out of the door, hastily locking it before rushing down after her brother, their footsteps echoing like gunshots through the empty floors. They rushed panting into the foyer, where Maryse and Jace were just emerging. The clock on the wall showed that they had just made it in time. But it didn't stop Izzy's mom from shooting her a poisonous glare and ignore the fact that Alec had just come down with her instead of arriving with her and Jace. Probably.

They all made their way out to the car, Maryse sliding into the driver's seat. Izzy slipped into the very back first, feeling a bit awkward and quite frankly terrified from the look that Jace gave her. And then Alec slipped in beside her. She gave him a questioning look but he just shrugged at her and gave her a small, reassuring smile. She smiled back, and then quickly let the expression drop off of her face as Jace glared at her with a look at least as poisonous as the one Maryse had given her, if not more so. It was so acidic she could feel her bones melting inside of her. He stalked around to the passenger seat angrily, slamming it behind him. Maryse didn't apprehend him. Why would she? He was her perfect child, and no matter what he did he would always be untouchable. Funny really, when he was the only one who wasn't genetically related to her.

They always said that blood was thicker than water, but Izzy was beginning to doubt it.

Blood wasn't love. Not in the slightest.

In fact, if it hadn't been for Alec she would have seriously doubted whether love existed at all. He was he rock. And it appeared that he wasn't going anywhere soon without her.

As if noticing Izzy's sudden drop in mood, Alec gripped her hand on his knee, rubbing circles on the back of it like her father used to do many years ago, the father she would most likely never see again. He lifted her chin up with his free hand, making her look into the beautiful blue eyes that he possessed. It was easy to see why Magnus had fallen in love with him.

"Ignore them, Iz. If they don't appreciate you, then they are nothing. Just hang on there for a bit, and then we can escape them together, or find a way to fix it at least. It will get better."

"Everyone always says that, but it doesn't solve the problem now, does it?"

Alec shook his head.

"No. It doesn't. But it can give you hope, Iz, and sometimes that is all you need. Besides, I am here to hold you up and support you until the brighter days come, and I'll still be there when they come around to live them to the limit with you. I know it is hard Iz, but I won't let you fall any further."

"I've already fallen so far though, that the floor will catch me before you have time to."

"You underestimate me, Iz. I've always had a safety rope tied around your waist, and I was ready to stop your descent before it even began, and I am here to pull you back up, and help you pull yourself back up. To me, that is what being a brother is."

"I see that you have your morals sorted. Unlike those two idiots in the front."

Alec laughed.

"Pretty much."

"Thanks Alec. For everything.

"No problem. It's what I'm here for.

He wrapped an arm around her, and she fell asleep on his shoulder.

* * *

_Lights flew around her, red and yellow and orange, gold and black, the image distorted and terrifying, confusing and hot, burning, ripping apart her skin. It became clearer, merging into the image she remembered from that night. The house that she had grown up in, the house where all of her best memories were, where she had held Alec as he had cried, where he had held her, where Jace had scoffed, up in flames. Where Max had been born. Max. It was exactly like that night, dialling the fires services in a frenzy, running towards the house, the tears that had already been falling coming down even more intensely, busting into the house and through the flames, being dragged out by the firemen, the tears stinging her eyes and running tracks on her ash covered face._

_Breaking down outside the house as he parents and Jace came home as Max was brought out in a body bag and placed into the ambulance to be taken away. He was dead, and it was her fault. The screaming started again, between Robert and Maryse, between Jace and everyone, both of her parents and Jace shouting at her all at the same time, nearly passing out because it was too much._

_Alec coming home with Magnus in the middle of it all, trying to calm down Jace whilst her parents wept together, as he shouted abuse and kicked and had a temper tantrum on a mass scale. Magnus holding her to him as she just lost it, telling her it would be alright even though all of them knew that it would never be again, shedding glitter on her face which had made her laugh a bit. Telling her that he didn't judge her. Telling her that he didn't blame her. Telling her that he wouldn't ever shout at her. She had always liked Magnus, and trusted him, because Alec had trusted him._

_Then the image of Meliorn flooded into her mind, his tattoo shining on his shoulder, his lips cracked into a massive grin, his eyes bright green and swirling and _feral_. The way he had turned up on the doorstep shouting and hurling abuse, kicking at it as if he had intended to break it down from it's hinges, and him nearly doing so. The bruises that he had given her that were still swirling on her wrist now as he dragged her out of the house, as if some sort of manacle had been twisted and tightened on them until they were red raw and bleeding._

* * *

Izzy woke up sweating and on the verge of screaming, her head spinning wildly and her hands icy cold and clammy, her entire body shaking uncontrollably. She barely had time to open the window before she chucked up the entire contents of her stomach.

* * *

_**What do you think?**_

_**Thanks for reading, **_

_**Lu xxx**_


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